A CFT approach signifies a huge shift from conventional wisdom about children and adolescents which says, in essence, “Kids do well if they want to.”  That is, if parents could just find the perfect combination of consequences and rewards, we could motivate kiddos to change their challenging behaviors. For example, a caring parent might create a sticker chart with rewards for positive behavior. If an adolescent stays out past curfew, conventional wisdom suggests parents take away the cell phone and ground them. If a child yells or hits a sibling, the child gets a time-out as a consequence.

By contrast, in CFT, the therapist helps the parents to hear and understand the child’s perspective and the reasons underlying the child’s behavior. The therapist would facilitate sharing the parents’ concern with the child. Together, the therapist and family members would collaborate to find a solution that works for both parents and children.